By June Narber

A good friend of mine is in a crisis right now. She is so wrapped up in what other people think about her; in what her co-workers say about her; her parent’s desires for her life; even her church has its members who think she should be dating so-in-so; or doing this or that job. The end result is a woman that is so crippled by everyone else’s ties into her affairs nothing positive gets accomplished in her getting closer to being where she desires to be in life. On top of that, she is on depression medicine and is always, (I mean ALWAYS) talking about what someone else has told her; said about her; or what someone has said she should be doing.

While it is important to have counsel for events in our life; and for proper guidance, the final decision-making power for each of our lives is in our own hands. God is our counsel, but even with our Faith, some of us will wait for God to make “his desires” known. The problem with this is that God is trying to build righteous character in us. He desires that we live a righteous life and from our own free moral agency, choose the right over the wrong. I see this as working day by day to not just to live life, but to build positive relationships in our families and in our communities; but also working toward our individual goals and career objectives. This also includes the developing of talents and abilities, such as a technical skill, hobby, craft, music or otherwise activity that would fall under the category of “talent”. Each of us is different. We cannot measure other people by our own standards. However, we cannot allow others to measure us by their standards because this can hamper our growth in all ways and make our lives quite miserable. Such a situation is what my friend is experiencing.

The ties that bind are more than just the surface things. Hidden sin can sometimes bind us in ways we do not even consciously realize. That is why it is so important that when you pray, that you ask God to forgive you for ALL of your sins; and to gently show you areas that you need to work on. Our God is such an incredible God. His love for us transcends our greatest of imaginings. Ties that bind soon can become free flowing ribbons that gently caress our subconscious in making suggestions, instead of demands of what we should or should not be doing with our lives.

Stand up for yourself in terms of not allowing third parties control your life. Let God guide you in YOUR INDIVIDUAL path of salvation. The only one that should be walking in front of you is Jesus Christ. Likewise, make sure that you are not a “tie that binds” someone else from proper growth or decision-making power in their own lives.

This applies to spouses as well. Enough individuality must be maintained in a marriage to help the other spouse to still have their own hopes and dreams and talents and friends; but at the same time, having the mutual goals, hopes and dreams that comprise the family unit. So many marriages are nightmares or end in divorce because the love has literally been choked out of the other spouse because they have been forced to sacrifice not only their personal dreams, friends, and hopes, but even their own individual tastes in order to meet the selfish needs/demands of the other spouse.

Let love open your heart to change; and open your mind to the concept that we are individuals before God. Such is the spice of life, and is one of the things that is going to make being an immortal member of the family of God such an incredible thing, because no two family members are going to be identical in terms of personality, tastes, hobbies, and interests, although we WILL be alike in the elemental fact of character.

Copyright © 2010 June Narber, All Rights Reserved.